Your divorce has been finalized. Now, you are wondering how you could effectively play your role as a parent. However, your role does not have to change that much. You just have to focus on your role based on your current relationship with your ex as co-parents. It is important that you both strive to make the adjustments as seamless as possible to avoid causing serious effects on your kids. Here are some tips on how you can make the transition for your kids after your divorce easier.
Let your Kids Know what you Expect of Them
Because you and your ex are living in two different homes now, your kids will be traveling back and forth between these. Make sure you inform your kids of your expectations from them. Create a structure in your home and a set of rules such as curfew. You can expect your kids to strive to meet your expectations when they are aware of them.
Avoid Criticizing your Ex in Front of your Kids
Your ex could be the worst person on Earth; however, they could be your kids’ beloved. Criticizing your ex when you talk to your children will make them struggle to reconcile their identity as your kids grow up and enjoy their independence. Avoid this kind of conversation and always keep in mind that criticizing your ex is like hurting your kids.
Avoid Interrogations after Visits
You don’t want to ask your kids to play the role of a spy when they visit your ex’s home. Prevent yourself from asking their whereabouts because you will only leave your kids feeling awkward for betraying one parent for the other. You must make your kids feel safe so do not put them in the middle. You want to help them do the right thing without struggling to understand what’s really right.
Let your Ex Do their Thing
While you adjust to the new arrangements with your kids, you are likely to have more free time than before. While you may feel jealous, lonely or out of control, you should let your ex do their parenting without your interference. Keep in mind that you have separate lives now and control your family situations differently. You should learn to respect their time with your kids. Be as flexible as possible and remember to shift your focus on your kids only. Your ability to control yourself and respect the new arrangements will help your kids do the same.
If you haven’t reached this situation and are still considering a divorce, please check out Divorce in Tennessee: Procedures, Laws, and Helpful Information for Filing for Divorce in Tennessee.